Work, Regret, and the Misunderstood Message

Brett Klika

If you haven’t read Bronnie Ware’s Confessions of the Dying, do it.

In her book, Bronnie shares her experiences, conversations, and perspective from being an end-of-life caretaker for many.

It’s a powerful reminder to let values guide your life.

But…

There’s one part of the book that’s often misunderstood.

Bronnie notes that one of the most common regrets of the dying is:

“I wish I hadn’t worked so much.”

For many, this feeds a narrative that the ultimate fulfillment in life comes from minimizing time, energy, and effort spent on work.

The takeaway often becomes:

“Slow down, pass on opportunities, and stop being so driven.”

This narrative creates an overall sense of guilt, permanently pitting “life” against “work.”

Many of my clients struggle with this guilt.

Even Steve Jobs, the visionary behind Apple, expressed deathbed regrets about the amount of time he devoted to work.

After thousands of conversations about the role of work in people’s lives, however, I can confidently share that there’s more to this story.

Do you think Steve Jobs regrets changing the world with the invention of the iPhone?

Do leaders regret helping others maximize their potential?

Do we really regret our unique contributions within our career?

The answer is a resounding “NO.”

What people do come to regret, however, is the time and energy invested into the aspects of their career that feed addiction, ego, and insecurity.

Steve Jobs probably didn’t regret inventing the iPhone.

What he may have regretted is using it unnecessarily during meals and family conversations.

Leaders don’t regret developing others, but they regret:

We won’t regret the unique contributions we make through our careers.

But we may regret:

From my experience with many, the lesson from Bronnie’s book isn’t about abandoning ambition or vilifying the role of work in our lives.

Instead, it’s about better managing the menial aspects of your career that feed your ego, insecurities, and fears—so that you can have the time and energy for a meaningful work/life relationship.