"Comparison: The Thief of Joy" – Theodore Roosevelt
It seems like that thief is lurking in the shadows everywhere you look.
We’ve all had moments, online or offline, where we’ve felt we didn’t measure up to someone else’s accomplishments.
In fact, researchers suggest that the satisfaction we get from success often has less to do with the achievement itself and more with how favorably we compare to others.
In other words, a new car in my driveway feels more satisfying when my neighbor can’t afford one.
Yuck.
When you fail to define your own version of success, life becomes an unwinnable game of comparison.
I’ve worked with people who’ve spent their entire lives chasing a false sense of worth through comparison, only to come up short again and again.
Tony Robbins tells the story of buying his first mega-mansion, feeling like he’d “won” the game—until a billionaire invited him over to show off a wine cellar bigger than Tony’s entire house.
We all fall victim to comparison at times.
The key is to minimize its impact by defining what you’re truly after in work and life, and why you’re after it.
Even more important is reflecting on WHO you want to become as you pursue it.
When you’re confident in your authenticity, connection to values, and purpose behind your pursuit, comparison has less of an impact.
When the wind gets knocked out of my sails because I see someone further along the path than me, I reflect:
When the answers are “yes,” comparison becomes fleeting.
I’ve learned to feel more of what Germans refer to as Mitfreude- joy in others’ accomplishments.
The opposite, Schadenfreude- pleasure derived from another person's misfortune, is the jealousy that drags you down.
Life is not a zero-sum game.
When you’re clear and confident about your journey, other people’s journeys remain just that.
Their success doesn't mean your failure.
Define what you want, why you want it, and who you want to be as you pursue it.
Chase the best version of yourself, and the ROI on your life’s investments will be incomparable.